You know one of the worst parts? I never wanted to not be with him. I thought we had communicated that well. I thought he knew that. I want to be with him. Hell, I always told everyone else I wanted to marry him. I just didn't want to be so physical right now, outside of marriage, when I have so much life I want to live first. I couldn't be in a relationship that dishonored God, and experiencing something because of lack of self control, before it was meant to be experienced. I fully believe the blessings are slowly taken away when pushed so far outside of marriage. I know it's just as much my fault as his, but I was sure we could make it work...
It just makes it all worse though. I'm almost positive I would still be with him if he had given me a chance to talk to him in person.
And now we just have to believe that everything happens for a reason.
I can't help asking why though. Why, why, why did things happen like they did. Why is communication so hard. Dear Jesus...
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