Goodness and Grace

Friends, life is beautiful.

I can not get over how blessed I am right now, in the midst of God's beautiful creation. Over the past week, I have had to mentally check myself countless times. I find my mind drifting home, worrying about things there, or what I will do when I get back.

And then I realize: This is real. This is my life. This is the life I have chosen, and the life God has blessed me with. And I am here. I am alive, I am in Colombia, and I am experiencing the best that God has for me.

Wow.

Before coming to Colombia, I knew deep down that God was going to do something amazing. That he was going to use the trip to shape me into the person he has created me to be. In the last three weeks, I have been continuously amazed at his goodness, his provision, and his love.

Week one, I was angry. I was restless, and confused. I was physically here, but I wasn't present, and I was afraid that I wasn't where God wanted me. I wasn't doing anything, telling people about him, being a huge set apart "on fire" Christian. I was also afraid that I was living an unrealistic life and that I was supposed to stay home and "be normal". That I was wasting my time and money.

And one day, just like that, He used two beautiful, faithful souls to change my heart.

One: 

"I'm reading this morning and all of a sudden water keeps coming from my eyes but I don't know why I'd be crying because I wasn't feeling anything close to that. They keep coming so I ask God why I'm crying and He said it was for you. That its His heart towards you. That He sees you and He loves you with a "hesed" love. There's a picture of Him and you and you're running about exploring and He's present...watching and delighting in your curiosity and desire to see what He's created. That you're experiencing it together." 1st John 3:7

And two:

"...Do you feel like you have to be "doing something" to make God happy? I am wondering if He has allowed you to go to Columbia for this time because He wants you to "just be"? This itching you feel deep inside you...do you take the time to read His word. Cry out to Him. Or just praise Him? ...I think we feel that we have to be doing something or we are useless to the Lord. But the opposite is true. We are always doing to please him but he is asking us to just BE. Hang out with Him. Focus on His goodness. His provision. His comfort. His love for us. Sometimes we need to stop and do that so we can get filled up so that we can then pour out onto others because we FEEL His love and want to share it. Do you need your cup filled? I am praying that for you. You are giving of your own strength and desire. Let God fill you up to over pouring so that those all around you will KNOW you belong to Jesus." ❤ 

Guys, Jesus is so beautiful. He used two people in one day to speak to my heart so deeply. It changed everything.

Every day, He is here. He has done so much more in this time that I could have hoped or imagined.

Just a few physical examples, because listing everything would never end.

1) My shoes broke. I had no shoes at the big festival. It was Sunday, and every store was closed. Even if they were open, everyone there has tiny feet and it is so hard to find my huge size. I started to panic. We were at an absolutely disgusting place with trash and broken glass everywhere. But then, I made a conscience choice to choose to trust that God would provide shoes. I let my worry go, and simply prayed, "God, you clothe the birds, I am trusting you to provide shoes." 

A few minutes later there was a stand with shirts for sale, for $2.50 each. Normally we wouldn't look, but for that price? We stopped, bought some shirts... And notice a pair of sandals hanging near the top. One single pair, size 10 - my size. I bought them. I had

shoes. I thanked God.

2) I am deathly afraid of taxi drivers. One day, I was especially paranoid. I asked God to show me which taxi was best. Two pulled up. I felt the need to take the second one. The first taxi driver got out, yelling and angry at the second for "stealing" his customer. I didn't move. After a few minutes, my calm taxi driver started driving...he was the most amazing taxi driver of my life. Talking and laughing and telling me about his family. Such a sweet smile, that man. I thanked God. Big deal? Maybe not. Coincidence? Maybe. But I can't believe that anymore.

3) I was considering staying and volunteering another week, but wanted to travel and was ready to book my flight and leave, but decided to take some time to ask God. He said either way was fine, but I really felt like I should stay another week. I am always asking for encouragement, for people that love Jesus to share this journey with me. Shortly after I decided to stay, I met Matt, a new volunteer, from Minnesota! And Matt loves Jesus. So solid, so encouraging. He asked me to do a Bible study with him, and I am in awe. 

Simple prayers with simple faith answered simply, showing the goodness of my savior.

Currently, I am choosing to be content, to "just be", and daily choosing to trust God - in the midst of late buses, lonely nights, sketchy people wanting to steal my stuff. He has been guiding me; I can feel His presence here. I am learning to trust, learning to love, and learning that he can use me and love through me without me wearing myself out by trying.

This journey is just getting started. I can't wait to see where He takes me.

P.s. 

"What are you doing?"

"We are doing a short Bible study."

"After a beer?"

...Beer + Bible study = beautiful life. Stop judging. Jesus drank wine. ;)