I am disconnected from the world of prostitution, rape, porn, violence, human trafficking, drugs...so its almost like it is in another world. But it is real, and it is in my world, with girls just like me that just took a wrong turn, and were not blessed with the life that I have been blessed with.
Tonight, I researched porn. I have never seen a second of porn in my life, and I never want to. In my researching, I started out learning facts. Facts about how much money porn stars make, what the industry is worth, etc etc...but then, the things I started finding started pointing to porn's dark secret.
There is nothing healthy about porn. There is nothing right about porn. But you, the porn consumer, don't know that.
70 percent of men watch porn. But porn destroys relationships. Read this:
Matt: Yes. Did your wife ever talk to you about how she felt when you looked at pornography or when you produced pornography?
Donny: I’ll tell you what. Instead of just answering that question directly, I’ll read an e-mail from her. I travel all over the country now and speak. I’m used to the porn stars and their reaction. I’m used to men who struggle with it. What I didn’t understand was when women came up crying and said that this has ripped apart my marriage. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
I had become friends again with my ex-wife, so I forwarded to her the e-mail of a woman who had come to hear me speak and asked her, “What do I say to her?” Here is what she wrote in response. She makes some very good points.
"Donny, you don’t understand. It hurts so much just to read this letter, and all
I feel like I could tell this woman is to say run, run, run. Run away. Far away.
It’s adultery in the most painful form. It’s ongoing because it’s not a “real
affair.” While he is having this continual affair, you’re trying to work through
it. How is that fair? Tell me, how is that ok? How can I try to give women
tools to work through this? How can I try to tell them to rebuild something
with someone who is not doing their part? It is so one-sided.
All I would want to tell these women is to leave, and that isn’t right. God
needs to deal with each situation on an individual basis and they need to
hear from him what they’re doing and what they’re supposed to do, but
how can their marriage survive? To me, it can’t. If he doesn’t quit, it will tear
them apart. Why should this just be her burden? That’s what I wonder.
The very thing he is stabbing her heart with, the very thing tearing their
family apart, is the very thing she is supposed to help him through as
“Christians”? Is that what we are supposed to do? Stand by his side and be
some faithful warrior on his behalf, when he is so selfish, he would sacrifice
his wife and children for photographs and fantasy? I truly don’t even know. I
don’t get it. I just don’t get it.
Her statements, where she said, “my husband’s addiction is stripping away
all that I am,” and where she goes on to say it seems like wives are a lost
casualty in this war—those kill me, because I know.
For me, divorcing you and getting out of all that was freedom. I didn’t have
to continue to be torn apart. I could get strong and rebuild my life. When
you’re in it, your heart is ripped to shreds over and over and over again.
I don’t know how to counsel someone who is going through that. I am
angry. I have no understanding for this level of selfishness. Who knows,
maybe if wives left their husbands, men would see reality. The reality of the
fact is that it is an affair and their wives should not have to put up with the
abuse, just like they wouldn’t have to put up with them if he was physically
abusing them. How is it different? Emotional wounds hurt more than
physical wounds.
Let him have his porn, because it’s obviously what he wants, and he can’t
have both. I don’t have the answer at this point. Read in the Old Testament
when Israel was unfaithful to God and see if you get any insight. "
(I encourage everyone to read this whole ebook. The Hardcore Truth)
My heart is broken. I am not going to go into detail about the horrors of porn. The abuse, the broken girls, the light draining from their eyes.
But what you do is showing how you want the world to be. If you watch porn, you encourage objectifying women. You support the abuse.
God help us all...
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