Im a horrible human being.

At least I was. 

I'm done being horrible. I'm going to think before I act, from now on. And I'm going to pass on any opportunities that promise temporary fun in exchange for lasting peace that comes from doing right  as well as the knowledge that I'm not responsible for cutting open someone's soul.

2015 was not my year. By my selfish, selfish choices.

I would give almost anything to redo it. To start over. I learned so much. I changed for the better. But I can't convince myself that it was worth it. That the pain was worth it. The pain that I caused.

I cried more tears in 2015 than I bet the rest of my life combined. No joke.

And I would make a safe bet that I cried on more days. 

And much of those tears were because of me. Because of my choices. Because I was stupid. And because I hurt others.

That stops now. No, it already stopped. The thing is, the consequences haven't. 

They're going to go on for a long, long time.

Lord, forgive me. 

And if you were one that was harmed at my knife...

Please, please forgive me. That wasn't me. It isn't me. And from now until forever I am going to prove it. 

I can't undo actions. I can't take back words. I can't stitch your heart back together. I can't ask you to remember the good memories and forget the bad. I can't convince you I'm worth keeping around, and honestly, if I were you, I would have been gone a long time ago.

You are all such beautiful people. All you people in my life. The people that stay around.

It's going to get better, I promise. 

Xoxox