This is life, isn't it. This is life, day in, day out. Breathing through the ache in my soul, smiling in photos, reminding myself to live in the moment because a moment later it will all be gone.
Lying to people. I'm such a liar. A coward. Spineless.
Let's be real kids, I am nothing. What you see on Facebook is such a lie. My happy lie.
Am I that person? That person everyone looks at and thinks, oh, she's so beautiful, oh, she has such a great life, oh, she's so successful and is going to do great things...
The person that no one expects to cut herself. The person no one expects to take her own life and when she does they say, oh. what a shame, she had so much going for her.
I promise I won't be that girl, but sometimes I'd like to be.
Because I hate who I am, who Ive been trying to be that I never will be.
I hurt people, I throw away good things.
I look at my past and think, for what? What's the fucking point.
Why did I let go. Why did I push away. Why did I make that one choice or the other one or the other one...
Damn me. Damn me.
I'm probably going to hell anyway for this cowardness in my soul.
I have everything anyone could ever want, and I am nothing.


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